Highway Math
 

Highway Math
I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver, who cut right in front of a pickup truck, causing the driver to drive onto the shoulder to avoid hitting her. This evidently angered the driver enough that he hung his arm out his window and gave the woman the finger. "Man, that guy is stupid," I thought to myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave, in a sheepish manner, whenever a female does anything stupid to me in traffic, and here's why: . . .

I drive 48 miles each way every day to work. That's 96 miles each day. Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper. Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8 lane highway. There are 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles. That works out to 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars. Even though the rest of the 32 miles is not bumper-to-bumper, I figure I pass at least another 4000 cars. That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars that I pass every day.

Statistically, females drive half of these.
That's 18,000 women drivers!

In any given group of females, 1 in 28 has PMS.
That's 642.

According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying or unrewarding.
That's 449.

According to the National Institute of Health, 22% of all females have seriously considered suicide or homicide.
That's 98.

And 34% describe men as their Biggest Problem.
That's 33.

According to the National Rifle Association, 5% of all females carry weapons and this number is increasing.

That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female who.....has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem , has seriously considered suicide or homicide , has PMS, and is ARMED!!!!!

Give her the finger?

I don't think so!

lol

LOL....

Your not one of "them" right? :p

lol

Nice to know, how's about a link to the place that sells the kevlar undies.

:D:D:D:D:DOH Quit I cant laugh like that without it hurting!!!!!:)

I never thought of it that way, I guess calling them b`s over my car pa wasnt the best idea, huh??LOL A guy told me ounce, years ago, they worked for a local garage towing cars, late 1 night they wereon a call. in wis. they were coming back to the shop, when they came up on an older couple in a late 70`s caprice. they were putzin along at like 35. so they push that 454 in the truck to the boards and bumper up on them and push them up to 70. and keep them there for quite a ways, then they backed off and let them pull over as they went on by. I think self cleaning undies were in need there polara. I couldnt stop laughing, you know we all have thoughts of doing that . at some point. oh heres one for you. perfect example of what crazy`s talkin bout. I was 16 drivin through town 1 day. this older couple in the car in front of me ws goin slow, so being the impatient teen I was w/ a hot car, i jump in the other lane to pass them n flip them off. so as I lane jump, the guy in front does it too. cussing, i nail the brakes, back off, then come back over on the right, then get up window to window w/ them and yell, get the hell outa the way dumb a$$, the chick looks at me and yells, hey, F**K you. I laugh it off, now heres the bite back. so 20 years later, Im sittin w/ the in laws having coffee and a laugh. and beleive it or not, i get along w/ my inlaws, very well.so Mom looks over at me and says, you know. I just thought of something, one time.... then she looks at me , Im pale, speechless, and very shaken. yes, i syas, it was me. it was them that I yelled at allthose years before. thank GOd they laughed about it. I never put it together, but she described it too a tee. so yes, watch who you unload on w/ the road rage, it may come back to haunt you.

Excellant math & great story - thanks for the laughs - much needed!